We Need to Talk About Kevin Analysis or Motherhood is Surviving.

We need to talk about Kevin or motherhood as a test of strength.

The movie We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011), directed by Lynn Ramsey and starring Tilda Swinton and Ezra Miller, was filmed in 2010. It was based on the book by American writer Lionel Shriver and was nominated for the Palme d’Or.

This film caused a heated discussion among the audience on the topic: who should be blamed when a child commits a crime?

This movie made a strong impression on me. I have two small sons, and I often ask myself: Am I doing everything to raise them to be good people? In this article, I want to share We Need to Talk About Kevin analysis. And I hope it will be useful for you.

Plot.

Before us is an independent drama film of British-American production, created under the auspices of the studio BBC Films in 2010, with a budget of 7 million dollars,

You get to know Eva Khatchadourian, who once enjoyed success in writing but then left her work, taking up her family closely. By this time, her son Kevin was already growing up, although, from childhood, he was somewhat different from his peers, and some of his actions caused, if not fear, then suspicion.

But Eva’s husband – Franklin – writes off all this for his son’s age and his wife’s excessive care, not paying attention to all her remarks and complaints. 

A few years later, a second child, a girl named Celia, is born. Unlike Kevin, she grows up loved by the whole family. However, the actions of the eldest son raise more and more questions about his psychological state.

For the viewer to understand the story of Eva Khatchadourian’s loneliness today, the film is equipped with numerous flashbacks that occupy most of the transmitted material.

Gradually, we are drawn into the atmosphere of pitch tension that Kevin exudes into the air. From one of his glances, frost runs over the skin. It is not clear what this boy is up to, but everyone except his father notices that he is dangerous. Eve’s behavior in the present, which has limited her communication with the outside world and has caused her to endure the attacks of people she does not know, somehow follows from the past.

What did she do? We are gradually, bit by bit, given answers to emerging questions. At first, insignificant nuances become evident, revealing a shocking picture.

We Need to Talk About Kevin analysis.

The following text contains spoilers.

First, the director shows us her heroine, young and full of emotions, at a specific Spanish holiday La Tomatina, when crowds of people throw tomatoes at each other. And in a minute, we understand that a passionate night led to pregnancy. So this woman, who longed to return to her travels and former way of life, decides to give birth to a child and take care of his upbringing. Plus, her husband wants children too.

However, Eva did not accept her pregnancy from the very beginning. The changed body and pregnancy classes were all alien and strange to her. Finally, during the birth, the midwife says to Eva: Stop resisting! And in the second, we see a devastated mother and a happy father playing with a child.

The biggest problem between mother and son was a lack of empathy. I remember the scene where Eva keeps her newborn son at a distance, not hugging her, not giving maternal acceptance and love, and the baby is crying very bitterly. Yet, simultaneously, she laughs and thereby provides the child with the wrong feedback.

If you do this all the time, it takes the kid away from his true feelings. He does not understand what is happening and does not feel safe. But in the arms of his father, little Kevin always calms down.

Eva hides aggression in herself, but it still pours out little by little in the form of small cuffs when she is annoyed. And the boy demands his share of love every day. In particular, his long habit of going to the toilet in diapers shows it.

And there was really no one to talk about Kevin, as the director suggests in the title. 

Instead, the father wanted to see in him the child of his dreams, completely unwilling to recognize his son. The mother initially tried to look for external causes of problems, not allowing searches for internal ones.

For me, the tragedy of this film is that the mother and son are held hostage by each other. They are very similar; both have some disorders, and they don’t know how to treat each other.

Eve changes when she gives birth to a girl. Here, we see the included mother. She hugs and protects the baby, sings songs, and plays with her.

It would seem formal Eve is nothing to blame. Yes, she was nervous, but she did everything that mothers do. However, she did it formally to Kevin. If there is no love, then it is impossible to play it. Mother and son nevertheless became close through pain, acceptance of the past, and awareness of guilt, and after 18 years, the price of this is excessively high.

I think this film is powerful both in terms of directing and acting. This all-consuming feeling of mother’s guilt is played by Tilda and shown by the director ideally. All irritants are involved here.

Flowing water with blood-red paint on her hands, which the heroine of Tilda furiously scrapes off the floors. Children’s voices demanding candy in exchange for life…

In the finale, the mother, walking through the prison corridors, finally realizes and comprehends everything that has happened. It took her eighteen years to accept her child!

Two pretty strong performances. Tilda Swinton is perfect as once self-confident, slightly arrogant, and then a broken woman, watching her prosperous, built life inevitably collapse year after year.

I am so accustomed to the role of Ezra Miller that sometimes it just takes me aback: the image turned out to be bright and bewitching, and this is scary. Small actors are also good: Jasper Newell, Rock Der, and a girl—Ashley Gerasimovich.

We Need to Talk About Kevin character analysis.

Let’s take a closer look at Eve and Kevin’s characters.

Mother in child position.

The film’s main idea is revealed in the scene when Eva tells her child that if it weren’t for him, she would be in Paris. We see how a mother puts the “don’t live” program into the child’s subconscious. Over time, this program will influence Kevin’s behavior and actions until the fateful day.

Why is she doing this? Because she interacts with her child from the position of “child-child,” while in a healthy relationship, it is always “adult-child.”

Next, we see how every time an adult decision needs to be made, Eve takes the position of a child and behaves with her son like a little girl the same age as him.

Kevin’s father doesn’t know how to help. 

The position of Eve’s husband and the child’s father is also interesting. We are shown him as a highly calm character about everything that happens. But, the husband often devalues Eve’s desires and thoughts. So, of course, it negatively affects the life of the couple.

Also, the husband is often a buffer between mother and son and helps them resolve conflicts. Here, we see indirect communication between family members, which always distorts any word spoken.

Kevin always demanding attention.

The scene with mathematics is indicative. Kevin is again trying to show that he knows something and that he is a “good boy” in response. However, from a childish position, the mother once again humiliates the child, giving a deliberately difficult example.

The child, in turn, poops in his underwear, realizing that this is the only way he can win. After that, the mother shows that even though he won physically, she is still stronger. She abandons him, and Kevin breaks his arm.

From a childish position, Eva cannot admit her guilt; therefore, in the car, she says to Kevin: “Mom did not do well.” It is as if there is a second mother, although, with her husband, she plays the role of an adult and says that it is her fault.

Competition between Kevin and his sister. 

The birth of a sister makes Kevin jealous because he understands that his mother is capable of love but not for him.

What must be done to receive the love of a mother? Become as helpless as a newborn sister. Then, Kevin falls ill, and his mother gives him care and affection for the first time.

At this moment, she experiences happiness by reading Kevin a book about an archer. Her phrase about firing two hundred arrows creates a fixation in Kevin’s subconscious that only in this way, becoming the best archer, will he eventually receive his mother’s love. And as a result, all his hobbies begin to revolve around archery.

The humiliation and damage to the sister are just Kevin’s attempt to remove the object of envy, which gets what he wants.

Murder

Kevin is shooting people with a bow. Here, we return to the previous point when the child’s subconscious of the child fixed the way to get the mother’s love – winning the archery competition.

Eva and Kevin are similar.

They remind me of the Snow Queen and Kai—two similar but entirely non-native people, cold and almost insensitive. Only at the end will she feel the echoes of human emotions in him—fear and uncertainty—and they will become closer for a moment.

A vivid scene where Eva washes her face, and her face turns into Kevin’s. They even have the same hairstyle. They are each other’s test and hope. Forever and ever.

Let’s finally answer the question of concern to many people.

Is Kevin a psychopath?

Without a doubt, Kevin is a psychopath and a narcissist. Most likely, it was in the genes, but the relationship with his mother aggravated his illness. 

It would be interesting to see how Kevin would develop with an understanding and loving mother and how much his condition would be compensated for. Here, I will link to an excellent article on the importance of the mother or her substitute in the first three years of a child’s life.

Kevin’s whole life has been about survival through aggression and the demand for love. He understood that he could not take motherly love and did everything opposite to get at least negative attention.

 Probably in prison, he saw a mother who listened to him attentively for the first time. And it destroyed his psychological defenses.

– Why did you do that?

– I do not remember now…

He does not remember why he went to the crime since it is no longer critical. Now now, he is left alone with his mother.

I want to say a few words about the formation of a child’s brain and who we consider children. If we are talking about grown children (who have formed a prefrontal cortex 25-30 years and older), it may be their choice to remember the good or the bad, to forgive or hate.

Unfortunately, when we talk about children younger than the prefrontal cortex’s maturation phase, they still depend much on their parents. Kevin was 16 when he killed his father, sister, and kids at school. And only her acceptance will help him be born a second time.

It is challenging to look for the guilty in this situation. However, the boy needed love, his mother needed help and rest, and his father needed a healthy family.

Conclusion.

As a result, this is a strong picture that makes the viewer think about essential things.  For example, can the lack of love from an angel grow into a little monster? What causes cold relationships in the family? What is the child ready to do for the attention of the mother? How to deal with a terrible child whom you, according to society, should protect or blame? It is a question for many mothers whose children are to blame for appalling situations.

Remember that often the price of dislike is broken lives.

Check out my list of 10 movies about motherhood if you are interested in this topic.

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