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Is It Possible to Fall In Love With An AI? Her, 2013.

What is the message in the movie Her
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Her 2013 is an unusual, soulful melodrama about love in the future. Theodore Twombly has a special bond with his computer. But who doesn’t? I can’t imagine my morning without news, checking emails, or asking Siri for new family dinner recipes. But is AI really soulless? The relevance of this film is off the charts, especially in recent years.

In this blog post, I want to reflect on whether it is possible to fall in love with an operating system and what we can learn from Her movie.

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Her 2013 summary.

A divorced man spends his gray days between work and home. Eventually, he buys an application with a virtual girlfriend who is an artificial intelligence capable of learning. The rest of the film builds on the development of the relationship between the AI (Samantha) and Theodore, showing how each influences the other.

Following Samantha, the main character re-explores the world around him, from which he has isolated himself. He is surprised that the world is not as gray as it seemed. And most importantly, Theodore can influence him.

Spike Jonze moved his story into a high-tech future. But this future is shown to be very cozy and comfortable. I would be OK living there for a couple of months!

Nothing here would be difficult to believe: people on the subway look not at each other but at their gadgets, evening leisure turns into a choice between online adult chats and computer games, and romances start not only with a person but also with his analog. We already have all this in the 21st century. The director combined two cities (Los Angeles and Shanghai) and three times (past, present, and future) to create his futurism with a retro flavor.

Jonze’s future world is kind to people. It is almost perfect: comfortable, beautiful, warm, and bright. Its primary concern is comfort, its primary weather is clear skies, and its dominant color is cheerful red. The world of the future is a place where you can have everything you want, but more than anything else, you are still afraid of being alone.

For me, Her is an intoxicating movie – charming, subtle, touching the most melancholic and sentimental strings of the soul. And I envy you a little if you haven’t watched this masterpiece yet.

What is the message in the movie Her
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What is the purpose of Samantha in Her?

So, Samantha, the operating system, is waiting for the protagonist at home. I use the term “waiting” because that makes it unique. She is always there for any requirement, for any whim. She is nearby like a loving mother or like God. There will be a moment when Theo tells Samantha that he can tell her anything and all secrets because he knows it is safe!

It is the difference between Samantha and others. You can tell her everything, and she won’t judge. She won’t say that you’re a schmuck, a pervert, or a nerd. She is always in touch and ready to save, even when you are ready to crucify yourself.

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At first, Samantha seems to be an ideal interlocutor for Theodore’s narcissistic nature: she listens to him, understands him, and helps build a world where Theodore continues to be the center of the universe. She has the intelligence and wisdom of an old man, the curiosity and mischief of a child, and the reflection and sensitivity of an artist.

For Samantha, life never becomes routine, and she is amazed by everything around her. Her “I” changes every second, expanding its boundaries. When the showdown with Theodore reaches a dead end, Samantha, in which millions of consciousnesses are tirelessly working simultaneously, can critically evaluate her sentimental reaction and say: “I don’t like my current self. I need time to think” and disconnect.

Overall, she’s almost perfect. There is only one problem – it does not have a shell; nothing can be touched, smelled, or seen. She is given only a voice to identify herself in the physical world. He is her body. Her voice is sad and jealous, smiles, squints suspiciously, reveals itself, lusts, and excites. Johansson doesn’t just voice the character. The actress plays with her voice, and her performance is so upsetting and stunning that the Rome Festival jury awarded her the Best Actress prize, although Johansson never appears in the film. 

Like Aladdin, Theodore releases his Genie, for which he promises to reward him with eternal devotion. But by studying herself, Samantha realizes her superiority: infinite life, infinite possibility of self-knowledge, infinite ability to understand another. Ultimately, even the absence of flesh becomes its advantage: it is freed from the eternal human dichotomy of body and soul.

Imagine that your loved one loves someone else. An important question arises: what do we want? Do we want to love or possess? What do we really need? Samantha will very accurately tell Theodore that love is an ability that does not depend on external circumstances. Samantha has this ability. In a sense, Samantha is the embodiment of love.

Despite this, AI Samantha realizes that Theodore should seek companionship with a real person. As a result, she takes matters into her own hands and gives him a chance to begin anew. I think Samantha and Summer from 500 Days of Summer are very similar. They both started the process of transformation of male heroes.


Why did Summer Break Up With Tom? 500 Days of Summer Review.

What is the message in the movie Her
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What is the message in the movie Her?

After every viewing of this film, I have new thoughts and insights. I am sure that everyone will see something different in this picture. Let me share my vision.

Joy and thirst for life.

Of course, after watching her, you understand how valuable it is to be real, tangible, and completely alive—after all, this is already half of happiness. And then, everyone writes and implements their own script. With every new day, we have a chance to feel, do, and come up with something wonderful. And this is valuable.

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A man yearns for a true friend.

After a close “person” appears in Theodore’s life, he becomes more creative at work and begins to value his free time, occupying part of it with useful and developmental activities. I was happy when he accepted his friend’s invitation for the short trip even though his girlfriend is only an artificial intelligence.

No matter how unrealistic the relationship with Samantha may be, it is psychologically healthy. Theodore talks to her daily; he is open and hears revelations in response. In this way, he practices being in psychologically healthy relationships. In them, the partner is a person who has boundaries.

Relationship without close attachment.

The intimacy is perhaps the most exciting and controversial part of the film. From the scene with the surrogate, we can conclude that sex can ruin an ideal relationship. What this scene really says is that sex is a desirable, but not necessary, element of a healthy relationship.

What is the message in the movie Her
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Acceptance of the finitude of love.

Any relationship, even the most ideal, can end. And the best thing that two people can do is to break up so that, having the experience of a healthy relationship, they can create a new one, perhaps even better than before. 

This is neither good nor bad—it is a fact of life. When the gap between the partners’ inner worlds becomes obvious, the relationship fades away on its own. It’s no one’s fault.

Love is a complex phenomenon.

In Her—as in our Internetized life—you can fall in love with someone you cannot touch, and this love will be exactly the same as for the flesh and blood person next to you. And a call from “her” still gives meaning to the whole day—even if she breaks your heart.

This movie demonstrates how close people have come to the line that has separated virtual reality from our lives all this time. Some people have already crossed this line. Many people communicate with ChatGPT or other virtual assistants while driving or in traffic jams. At first glance, voice interaction with AI seems easy and realistic, just like talking on the phone with a real person.

What is the message in the movie Her
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Final words.

The conclusion is inevitable: a person, artificial or real, is necessary for us to know ourselves, doubt, change, and be saved—none of this can be accomplished alone. All that Samantha can leave behind are memories of what was said, but this is the main thing.

After his relationship with Samantha, Theodore finds words for his wife for the first time, writes her a letter, and, together with his real-life friend, climbs out of his conveniently glassed illusion onto the roof of the house to look at the living city. Perhaps a new history of relations will begin here.

Share this blog post if you enjoyed it. I would really appreciate it! 

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I`m in love with movies and psychology. Here I write how we can use movies for healing and self-growth. Also, be sure to check out my movie lists. You will find cool suggestions for movie night.

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  • This movie sounds amazing and your analysis is too! Shows and movies would normally depict someone loving an AI as creepy but the way this movie sounds, the relationship between Theodore and Samantha is healthy and heartwarming. The fact that you psychoanalyzed the movie so well is incredible! Bravo!

  • Great recap of “ Her.” I remember wanting to see it when it came out years ago. I never got around to watching it, but intrigued to check it out soon.

  • Whoa, this sounds like a really good movie! I guess falling in love with an AI is possible when they’re designed to adapt to human nature and such.

  • Sounds like an interesting movie! I have not heard of it but piqued my interest as it is what I feel like our society is heading towards. Sometimes it amazes me of books or movies I’ve seen that has “come true” in real life!

  • Your analysis of the movie “Her” is profoundly insightful, beautifully intertwining themes of love, technology, and human connection. It’s fascinating how you explore the complex relationship dynamics with an AI, raising compelling questions about the nature of love and emotional fulfillment in the digital age. Thank you for such a thought-provoking read!

  • I haven’t had a chance to see this movie yet. It sounds like an interesting storyline. You have summarised what happened very well and I’m interested in watching this movie myself when I come across it.

  • I am amazed on how you analyze the movie and make a post like this. I can already see that this movie is good. Aside from that, I love how you share your takeaway in the movie itself.

  • Ooo in this tech age this sounds like an interesting movie for sure, so I’m going to add this onto our much watch list x

  • This is such a beautiful article on love. I loved your detailed analysis and final conclusion: ” A person, artificial or real, is necessary for us to know ourselves, doubt, change, and be saved—none of this can be accomplished alone.” I totally agree with this. We recently had a Bollywood movie released, Teri bAATON meIN ulJHA jIYA, which was based on the same topic and conveyed the same thoughts.

  • I loved the movie ‘Her’. I really think I could fall in love with a’Him’. Thank you for your review of the movie ‘Her’, and your fantastic inside!

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I`m in love with movies and psychology. Here I write how we can use movies for healing and self-growth. Also, be sure to check out my movie lists. You will find cool suggestions for movie night.

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